The academic dinner

After Jimmy announced he's going to tie the knot in the end of this year, the Saturday dinner was immediately turned into a symposium of "Two People, Or Two Family - The Difficulty When Planning A Wedding." And, of course, Jimmy was the main presenter and the rest of my schoolmates and I became inquisitive commentators.

The sweet news from Jimmy also proofed his heart has become seamless now. More than two years ago, Jimmy was deeply in love with a girl and they had been living with each other for almost two years. One day while everything seemed alright and he was at work, without any notice in advance, the girl called and told him that she had already packed her things and moved out. There was no the other man between them and no clear explanation about the sudden breakup. For the following months, Jimmy was looking like a living zombie.

But, after such a sudden and deep stab into one's heart, now look at Jimmy and the girl he's holding hand with! Obviously the zombie has already reincarnated and lives in the seventh heaven.

Although Jimmy just started to plan the wedding for about four months, it's long enough to make him talk like a prestigious eighty-year-old professor. From the traditional customs of the whole wedding to the reception, there were so many times Jimmy said it's not something I can decide when I told him what I want or what I think about it. I didn't say something like I want to wear a puffy dress and get married in Disneyland. But the reply from Jimmy sometimes made me feel daunting in a certain degree.

I won't call myself a feminist since think men and women can never be equal in so many ways. To me, the key point is always about respect. But feel there are some traditional customs of a wedding that contradict my belief and emotion.

For example,
1. On the wedding day, the mum of the bride has to splash a basin of water to the road after the groom comes to pick up the bride from her place and the daughter officially leaves the house. It symbolizes the daughter is like the splashed water - she belongs to another family from the moment.

I love my family. I just don't like the hidden idea that once you get married, you'll have to cut the connection with your family even it only has a symbolic meaning. Besides, I am confident that my love is big enough for my future and current family members to share.

2. After getting in a limo, the bride has to throw away a hand-held fan from the window which represents she will abandon all her bad temper to start a new family.

I fully agree it should be encouraged if we try to make ourself become a better person. But can my future husband be that perfect that I am the only person who has bad temper to throw away? If I need to throw away a hand-held fan, can I ask him to do the same thing with me?

Jenny said she has never thought about the meanings of all these customs. Jimmy said they are just some customs and I shouldn't take them too far. Besides, as an expert of a wedding planner, he emphasised again that sometimes they are not something I can decide - the parents of the groom might feel offended if I don't do so.

I still admire the culture within a wedding. But just can't stop thinking at the same time if some customs are really that unbreakable or can't be omitted, especially when people don't even think about the meaning of the customs.

Maybe they are really something I can not decide. But Jimmy, at least I can decide how much money I am going to put in the red envelope to give it to you.

Asking A Woman's Phone Number For Dummies : Taiwan Edition

No matter how instant and convenient a man can meet a woman through the internet, the old fashion way to meet a woman in the street is never really forgotten.

But, without a virtual flower, heart or any other emoticons to send, in real world some men's ability to ask a woman's phone number in the street when he wants to know her seems to backtrack to a single-celled organism. Tonight I feel obligated and commissioned to bring those men back to Darwinism. So, guys, here are my advice. Listen up!

1. NO! NO! NO! Never ever just pop up a line like this, "errr...can you give me your phone number?" Are you a policeman or what?! Be patient and polite!

2. Yes, you want her to stop, but suddenly park your motorcycle and block her way, believe me, it's not a glamorous way to come on the stage, especially when she is wearing her earphone listening to her music and walking with very impatient pigeon's steps on her way home.

3. Wearing a suit will add about 50 points for you, but, remember, the total points will be 1000. Besides, I know you might still be on your motorcycle, but still wearing your helmet when you are talking to the woman is like talking while still having your food in your mouth - good friends won't mind at all, but to a potential friend, 500 points will be lost even before you speak!

4. Don't chicken out at the crucial moment when the woman stops and looks at you. Be a man!

5. Will you make friend with a person you don't even know his/her name? Mind you, you are no more than a total stranger who makes her stop alone in the middle of a dusky lane. Unless you want to hear "fuck off" - introduce yourself first!

6. Not only be a man, but also be a gentleman - don't forget to say "thank you" even when she turns you down determinately.

Although I hope my advice will be helpful, I'm not confident about it at all. I doubt I'll give my phone number to a stranger even he takes all the advice. Maybe I need a book called "Giving Phone Number To A Man For Dummies."

A could-not-be-more-true nightmare

Taiwan mudslide survivors found
Taiwan rescue effort continues
People crying to President Ma for help
People crying for witnessing their own house being washed away

This is absolutely the last way I want my country to be noticed to the world. And sadly these videos only present small ripples of the lives that people in the south of Taiwan have at the moment.

Compare to the northern capital city, Taipei, the southern part of this small island is really like another country. Besides the consecutive heavy rain in the afternoon during these two days, there's nothing really changed or damaged in Taipei. In fact, the only difference I can directly feel is just fewer choices of vegetables that I can have in a restaurant.

Being a capital city, the safeness is not surprising at all. But after watching the news these days, it will be hard not to wonder and worry if the capital city has become the only city the government cares about.

During my dinner break at cram school this evening, I shared my table at a cheap buffet restaurant with a middle-age woman sitting opposite me. While watching the news as our side dish, I could see clearly that those despairing and helpless faces on TV painted the corners of the woman's eyes red and made her eyes moist.

Although the vivid images on TV these days were plenty enough to swallow me up easily, my mind still went completely blank when I tried to imagine any of my family member is missing or the most valuable property, our apartment, which is almost everything mum and dad have earned for all their lives becomes mounds of mud.

Hope President Ma's government will run as fast as his last name suggests and also hope they can learn a lesson from it that when Taipei is safe and fine, it doesn't mean the whole island is safe and fine!