After Jimmy announced he's going to tie the knot in the end of this year, the Saturday dinner was immediately turned into a symposium of "Two People, Or Two Family - The Difficulty When Planning A Wedding." And, of course, Jimmy was the main presenter and the rest of my schoolmates and I became inquisitive commentators.
The sweet news from Jimmy also proofed his heart has become seamless now. More than two years ago, Jimmy was deeply in love with a girl and they had been living with each other for almost two years. One day while everything seemed alright and he was at work, without any notice in advance, the girl called and told him that she had already packed her things and moved out. There was no the other man between them and no clear explanation about the sudden breakup. For the following months, Jimmy was looking like a living zombie.
But, after such a sudden and deep stab into one's heart, now look at Jimmy and the girl he's holding hand with! Obviously the zombie has already reincarnated and lives in the seventh heaven.
Although Jimmy just started to plan the wedding for about four months, it's long enough to make him talk like a prestigious eighty-year-old professor. From the traditional customs of the whole wedding to the reception, there were so many times Jimmy said it's not something I can decide when I told him what I want or what I think about it. I didn't say something like I want to wear a puffy dress and get married in Disneyland. But the reply from Jimmy sometimes made me feel daunting in a certain degree.
I won't call myself a feminist since think men and women can never be equal in so many ways. To me, the key point is always about respect. But feel there are some traditional customs of a wedding that contradict my belief and emotion.
For example,
1. On the wedding day, the mum of the bride has to splash a basin of water to the road after the groom comes to pick up the bride from her place and the daughter officially leaves the house. It symbolizes the daughter is like the splashed water - she belongs to another family from the moment.
I love my family. I just don't like the hidden idea that once you get married, you'll have to cut the connection with your family even it only has a symbolic meaning. Besides, I am confident that my love is big enough for my future and current family members to share.
2. After getting in a limo, the bride has to throw away a hand-held fan from the window which represents she will abandon all her bad temper to start a new family.
I fully agree it should be encouraged if we try to make ourself become a better person. But can my future husband be that perfect that I am the only person who has bad temper to throw away? If I need to throw away a hand-held fan, can I ask him to do the same thing with me?
Jenny said she has never thought about the meanings of all these customs. Jimmy said they are just some customs and I shouldn't take them too far. Besides, as an expert of a wedding planner, he emphasised again that sometimes they are not something I can decide - the parents of the groom might feel offended if I don't do so.
I still admire the culture within a wedding. But just can't stop thinking at the same time if some customs are really that unbreakable or can't be omitted, especially when people don't even think about the meaning of the customs.
Maybe they are really something I can not decide. But Jimmy, at least I can decide how much money I am going to put in the red envelope to give it to you.
The sweet news from Jimmy also proofed his heart has become seamless now. More than two years ago, Jimmy was deeply in love with a girl and they had been living with each other for almost two years. One day while everything seemed alright and he was at work, without any notice in advance, the girl called and told him that she had already packed her things and moved out. There was no the other man between them and no clear explanation about the sudden breakup. For the following months, Jimmy was looking like a living zombie.
But, after such a sudden and deep stab into one's heart, now look at Jimmy and the girl he's holding hand with! Obviously the zombie has already reincarnated and lives in the seventh heaven.
Although Jimmy just started to plan the wedding for about four months, it's long enough to make him talk like a prestigious eighty-year-old professor. From the traditional customs of the whole wedding to the reception, there were so many times Jimmy said it's not something I can decide when I told him what I want or what I think about it. I didn't say something like I want to wear a puffy dress and get married in Disneyland. But the reply from Jimmy sometimes made me feel daunting in a certain degree.
I won't call myself a feminist since think men and women can never be equal in so many ways. To me, the key point is always about respect. But feel there are some traditional customs of a wedding that contradict my belief and emotion.
For example,
1. On the wedding day, the mum of the bride has to splash a basin of water to the road after the groom comes to pick up the bride from her place and the daughter officially leaves the house. It symbolizes the daughter is like the splashed water - she belongs to another family from the moment.
I love my family. I just don't like the hidden idea that once you get married, you'll have to cut the connection with your family even it only has a symbolic meaning. Besides, I am confident that my love is big enough for my future and current family members to share.
2. After getting in a limo, the bride has to throw away a hand-held fan from the window which represents she will abandon all her bad temper to start a new family.
I fully agree it should be encouraged if we try to make ourself become a better person. But can my future husband be that perfect that I am the only person who has bad temper to throw away? If I need to throw away a hand-held fan, can I ask him to do the same thing with me?
Jenny said she has never thought about the meanings of all these customs. Jimmy said they are just some customs and I shouldn't take them too far. Besides, as an expert of a wedding planner, he emphasised again that sometimes they are not something I can decide - the parents of the groom might feel offended if I don't do so.
I still admire the culture within a wedding. But just can't stop thinking at the same time if some customs are really that unbreakable or can't be omitted, especially when people don't even think about the meaning of the customs.
Maybe they are really something I can not decide. But Jimmy, at least I can decide how much money I am going to put in the red envelope to give it to you.
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