Sign the attached non-disclosure agreement before you read this post.
The following content will reveal a discovery which takes me 26 years to verify. After my countless experiments and expensive clinical trials, I now announce formally the doctrine-- Pessimistic Optimist.
Without any hesitation, my friends will all definitely agree that I am one of the most energetic and enthusiastic people they have ever met. I will also consider myself as an advocate of optimism. One of my mottos is "Everything will be better after I get some sleep". I thought God will be pleased and satisfied with how optimistic I am. But, on the contrary, I felt punished when I was optimistic and confident. The more optimistic and confident I was, the more I suffered. I also found out if I pretended to be pessimistic, humble and understated inside my heart, everything would work smoothly without facing any difficulties that I expected.
Take the presentation I gave the day before yesterday for example, my supervisor assigned a legal issue for me to research as my first job to start my internship and asked me to give a presentation to all colleagues in my division after 2 weeks. Although I had already been here for 2 weeks, I still had not know everyone or been known by everyone yet. This was not only the first time that I could let all my colleagues and supervisors realize how professional I could be even though I was merely an intern, but also a perfect chance to make them consider me as their potential employee in the future.
There were my evident footprints in books, articles and court decisions which were related to the issue. After I plowed all the documents, I was still very anxious about the presentation. With scarce confidence, I entered the vast conference room. But, since I started to give my presentation, my doctrine was proved again. All my colleagues said they couldn't feel my tenseness but calm instead.
I know you can't wait to retort me that it was because I was well prepared. Then, how do you explain my presentation in my Internet and Law class last semester? True to form, I did all the research I could and even made an extremely fascinating slideshow about it. Couldn't stop giggling because I thought I would have all the spotlight on me due to give such an excellent presentation. However, somehow everything just got out of hand and I came under fire after the presentation. It ended up in a totally disaster and I was in a huge blow. If you think that it was because I didn't work hard enough, then you would definitely hear my outcry now.
After 26 years' experiments and clinical trials, this doctrine has already deeply embedded in my mind. Therefore, according to this doctrine, in order to share my exciting news with you without being punished by God at the same time, let's keep our voice as down as possible and pretend to be the humblest and most modest people for the moment.
Are you ready?!
Ok, my exciting news is I got more "Yeses" now. Besides, Queen's University Belfast, I also have Aberystwyth University, Brunel University, University of Stirling and Nottingham Trent University.
Shh! I have told you to keep your voice down.
If global warming is Al Gore's inconvenient truth, then mine will surely be pretending to be a diffident pessimist when I am not. Please feel free to contact me if you find my doctrine is terribly wrong, I will absolutely be happy to hear that. But, before that, let me remind you again, you have already signed an non-disclosure agreement.
The following content will reveal a discovery which takes me 26 years to verify. After my countless experiments and expensive clinical trials, I now announce formally the doctrine-- Pessimistic Optimist.
Without any hesitation, my friends will all definitely agree that I am one of the most energetic and enthusiastic people they have ever met. I will also consider myself as an advocate of optimism. One of my mottos is "Everything will be better after I get some sleep". I thought God will be pleased and satisfied with how optimistic I am. But, on the contrary, I felt punished when I was optimistic and confident. The more optimistic and confident I was, the more I suffered. I also found out if I pretended to be pessimistic, humble and understated inside my heart, everything would work smoothly without facing any difficulties that I expected.
Take the presentation I gave the day before yesterday for example, my supervisor assigned a legal issue for me to research as my first job to start my internship and asked me to give a presentation to all colleagues in my division after 2 weeks. Although I had already been here for 2 weeks, I still had not know everyone or been known by everyone yet. This was not only the first time that I could let all my colleagues and supervisors realize how professional I could be even though I was merely an intern, but also a perfect chance to make them consider me as their potential employee in the future.
There were my evident footprints in books, articles and court decisions which were related to the issue. After I plowed all the documents, I was still very anxious about the presentation. With scarce confidence, I entered the vast conference room. But, since I started to give my presentation, my doctrine was proved again. All my colleagues said they couldn't feel my tenseness but calm instead.
I know you can't wait to retort me that it was because I was well prepared. Then, how do you explain my presentation in my Internet and Law class last semester? True to form, I did all the research I could and even made an extremely fascinating slideshow about it. Couldn't stop giggling because I thought I would have all the spotlight on me due to give such an excellent presentation. However, somehow everything just got out of hand and I came under fire after the presentation. It ended up in a totally disaster and I was in a huge blow. If you think that it was because I didn't work hard enough, then you would definitely hear my outcry now.
After 26 years' experiments and clinical trials, this doctrine has already deeply embedded in my mind. Therefore, according to this doctrine, in order to share my exciting news with you without being punished by God at the same time, let's keep our voice as down as possible and pretend to be the humblest and most modest people for the moment.
Are you ready?!
Ok, my exciting news is I got more "Yeses" now. Besides, Queen's University Belfast, I also have Aberystwyth University, Brunel University, University of Stirling and Nottingham Trent University.
Shh! I have told you to keep your voice down.
If global warming is Al Gore's inconvenient truth, then mine will surely be pretending to be a diffident pessimist when I am not. Please feel free to contact me if you find my doctrine is terribly wrong, I will absolutely be happy to hear that. But, before that, let me remind you again, you have already signed an non-disclosure agreement.
No comments:
Post a Comment